Should Pro Se Response to a Lawyer Family Law
Managing clients' psychological responses to divorce and child custody disputes involves managing their emotional reactions at all stages of the process.
By Julie A. Auerbach, Family Lawyer, and Lauren Napolitano, Psy. D.
Navigating the psychological responses of clients to divorce and child custody disputes tin be one of the near difficult aspects of practicing family law. Clients cannot easily compartmentalize their emotions from the sectionalization of avails and back up and custody issues. Family unit law attorneys must help clients in managing their emotional expectations along with their financial expectations. Without whatsoever formal grooming in the psychological aspects of divorce and custody disputes, family law lawyers often shoot from the hip in managing these emotional expectations, relying on common sense and reason to counsel their clients. Understanding these psychological aspects and how to best manage them will sensitize family unit police lawyers to and better serve the needs of their clients.
Julie A. Auerbach, Esquire, a Pennsylvania family unit police force attorney, asks Lauren Napolitano, Psy.D., to explain and suggest attorneys equally to these issues.
Auerbach: One would look that individuals going through a divorce and/or child custody dispute would experience a range of emotions, such every bit anger, depression, defoliation, and fear – but individuals do non always express their emotions in a clear fashion. What emotional responses can family law lawyers await their clients to experience? In what ways tin lawyers look to see these emotions exhibited when they are non clearly expressed?
Napolitano: Frequent ways that clients express their emotions include stonewalling the divorce, wanting to legally retaliate against the other spouse, and expressing a wish to 'crucify' or 'punish' the other spouse. Clients who are overwhelmed by the divorce or in denial about the divorce may avoid their family police force lawyer'southward attempts at advice. They may 'forget' nearly phone calls that are set or meetings that have been scheduled.
How can family police lawyers help their clients through these emotional responses?
Lawyers should educate their clients about the emotional rollercoaster that is divorce. They should suggest clients that they might experience a lot of strong emotions during the divorce process, and let clients know that information technology is normal to feel overwhelmed, ambivalent, or confused during the divorce process. By normalizing their emotional reaction, it may make it easier for clients to acknowledge their strong emotions. Referring clients to speak to other divorced individuals can be very helpful as well.
Divorce is often accompanied past other problems, such equally addiction (alcohol, drugs, gambling, etc.) or mental health issues (bipolar disorders, depression, personality disorders, etc.). What recommendations do y'all take for lawyers representing an private with these problems?
The family police lawyer should maintain firm boundaries with regard to these issues, preferably by putting in writing how the legal relationship between lawyer and client should progress. If the client's mental disease or habit interferes with the relationship or the piece of work existence done, there needs to exist a clear understanding of the consequences of this beliefs. Additionally, it is best to clearly place them as serious issues and refer the customer for proper treatment. If the client refuses to get treatment and the private'due south behavior or mental illness is interfering with the legal procedure, it may be necessary for the lawyer to halt the divorce procedure until the client is ready. For example, if your client is an alcoholic and shows up to court inebriated, it's best to interruption the divorce proceedings until that customer can take responsibility for his or her health.
What recommendations do you have for the lawyer representing the spouse of an private with addiction or mental wellness issues?
In this situation, it is incredibly helpful to refer your customer to support groups like Al-Anon or Nar-Anon, which are groups that support the loved ones of individuals with addiction or mental health bug. Information technology is as well helpful to refer your client for psychotherapy, equally he or she will probable need support during the divorce process.
What are some of the psychological responses individuals experience in child custody disputes and in sharing custody with their spouses? What are some of the indirect ways clients might express these emotions that may non be readily discernable?
Common reactions include depressive symptoms, anxiety, indisposition, and grief. In some cases, the customer may fantasize near reconciling with the other spouse or, to the other farthermost, may seek sole custody. Indirect ways of expressing anxiety most custody disputes include disrupting the custody schedule, undermining the other spouse's authority with the kids, and talking ill of the other spouse in front of the kids.
What are some techniques lawyers can employ to help their client with these responses?
Again, the best tool for family unit police lawyers is to normalize the emotional rollercoaster that is divorce. The family law lawyer can educate his or her client nigh the emotions that will probable arise during divorce. Much like an obstetrician educates his or her patients about the emotions associated with pregnancy and childbirth, a family lawyer can give his or her clients data almost how they will likely feel during the various stages of divorce. It is normal for a parent to take profound anxiety about losing time with their children; it is normal to feel like your life will never be the same again or that the holidays will never be happy over again. Encourage your clients to join a support group for divorcing individuals and encourage them to read books about divorce.
What are the psychological responses of children to divorce and how tin can we help educate and advise our clients to handle the bear upon of divorce on their children?
A kid's response to their parents' divorce varies based on their age, the level of hostility involved in the divorce, and how much support that kid has during the divorce. Young children might express anxiety through regressing to behavior that was advisable at a younger age (e.g., bedwetting, tantrums, night terrors), while older kids may adopt a opinion of refusing to talk virtually the divorce. The most important thing that parents can practice is to refer their child for exterior support. Giving their child access to a therapist during the divorce gives the child a place where they tin can become support during a very difficult transition in their life.
How can family constabulary lawyers comprise the needs of children in drafting child custody schedules?
Family constabulary lawyers can look to the parents to learn as much as they tin nigh the needs of the children. Learning most the child's routine (schoolhouse, daycare, extracurricular activities, and wellness issues) will help the lawyer to determine a schedule that volition best benefit the child.
What can family law lawyers do to help give the client some emotional satisfaction in their divorce?
A family law lawyer can continually remind the customer that the divorce process will have a outset, center, and end. Remind the client that the goal of divorce is to cease an unsatisfying relationship in social club to build a happier, more satisfying life mail service-divorce. I think many clients experience dissatisfied immediately following their divorce. Divorce is a challenging and bittersweet process. Lawyers may desire to consider taking a moment to send a note or call a few months later on the divorce is over. This contact can feel meaningful to a customer. Sometimes the client needs time to process the change in his or her life. By maintaining a supportive and amiable relationship with the client later the divorce is finalized, the customer is more than probable to feel emotionally satisfied with their lawyer and with the divorce.
What are some of the impacts of divorce on extended family and friends, and how do these affect the divorcing customer?
Acrimonious divorces tend to polarize families and friends, who may feel they need to side with 1 customer. Some clients find that their parents wish to get over-involved with their divorce. Other clients may observe that they struggle to find support during the divorce. The alter in the level of involvement of family and friends can be very stressful for the client.
What are some reactions that we might non anticipate or expect when 1 spouse has an affair during the marriage?
Afterwards an affair, we wait the 'wronged' spouse to experience hurt, betrayed, or angry. What we might discover, yet, is that the 'wronged' spouse may feel guilty or ashamed. They may wish to reconcile with the adulterous spouse or pretend that the cheating has not occurred. Some unexpected reactions of the cheating spouse include deprival of the affair, remorse and a wish to reconcile, or a compulsion to eradicate guilt by giving the spouse additional money or assets during the divorce.
Julie A. Auerbach, Esquire, is a family law attorney at Astor Weiss Kaplan & Mandel, LLC. She has practiced family law in Pennsylvania for more than than 23 years and has written and lectured extensively on family law matters. To larn more well-nigh her, delight visit her firm's website: www.astorweiss.com.
Lauren Napolitano, Psy. D., counsels individuals going through divorce and custody disputes. Dr. Napolitano is on staff at Bryn Mawr Infirmary in Bryn Mawr, PA. She writes frequently on the topics of divorce and parenting. To larn more than about her exercise, please visit www.laurennapolitanopsyd.com.
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Source: https://familylawyermagazine.com/articles/managing-clients-divorce-disputes/
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